(Alternate Titles: Hamartia and Me, Your Choice in Shoes Can Make Or Break You, Flip Flops, Jack, and I, or I Totally Overused Caps In This Post)
*BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!*
"ALEXA! WAKE UP!!!!"
I did. And I quickly jumped into my interview clothes, applied a wee bit of makeup, and looked at the floor. Sitting there were these gold flip flops. Old Navy of course, but just tan enough to go perfectly with my outfit--tan blouse-ish type shirt with white cami underneath, frilly patterned skirt--it matched so perfectly, I slipped them on and didn't look back.
Yeah, turns out that was my tragic flaw. My Hamartia. ("The "tragic hero" attempts to do the "right thing" in a situation where the right thing cannot be done.")
Tragic Hero: Moi.
Right thing: Wearing sensible librarianistic (AKA Republican) shoes.
Why I couldn't do it: I DIDN'T HAVE ANY OTHER SHOES THAT MATCHED SO PERFECTLY! Mom and Dad told me to 86 the flip flops. I didn't listen, because I AM A SPED.
So I'm sitting in my interview, and Mrs. I Totally Drew On My Eyebrows This Morning (AKA Mrs. ITDOMETM) slides a dress code across the table to me and explains that it's not ambiguous or anything, easy to understand. Flip flops are a DEFINITELY NOT. I chuckle to myself. Mrs. ITDOMETM says, "You're laughing. What's so funny?"
"Oh nothing. Just...flip flops. I was told not to wear them today. But they're the only shoes I had that matched perfectly with my outfit."
"Well, don't worry. We don't judge the outcome of an interview by the interviewee's footwear. And besides, you didn't know."
I like Mrs. ITDOMETM. But I still got bitched at by my Mom and Dad--MAJOR looks of "I told you so."
Well, she's not the only one who wanted to ask me questions. In walks Miss I'm Smart, But Spaced (AKA Miss ISBS) with a cart of books.
"You have 30 seconds to put these in correct order using the Dewey Decimal System. GO!"
Okay, so I wasn't timed. But I had to do said task. I got the fiction ones all right, but I missed ONE in the non-fiction section. 158 Man ALWAYS comes before 158.1 Gam!!! I'm an idiot. They also think I'm an OCD Overachiever That Shudders At The Thought of Breaking Routine.
Well, that was the FIRST half of my day. The second half of my day, I helped my Dad fix his brake line thinger and then change his tires.
HELLO KARMA!! I almost met my tragic demise.
We fixed the brake line, all happy and successful. My Dad was feeling ambitious and decided he wanted to change from his winter tires to his summer tires (about time, huh? It's only JULY!) And pulled out Mr. Jack (Similar to this sucker).
Well, turns out you can't trust Jack.
My Dad put bricks in front of the front tires, and then propped up the back axle using Mr. Jack. We changed the back right tire with ease, and then were just about finished with the second one (using the 'burp burp' gun to put on the last lugnut) when Mr. Jack decided that he didn't want to hold up my Dad's truck anymore. He fell sideways and the truck took a little itsy-bitsy fall. Inches from my head. I dropped the 'burp burp gun' and rolled away from the tire before it fell (with the entire weight of the truck) on my head.
My goodness. Whatta day!
Side note: The 'burp burp gun' is the thing that the pit crew people use in NASCAR when they are trying to get the lugnuts off of a tire. We call it the 'burp burp gun' in my house because of the noise it makes. "Burrrrrrp burrrp!!"
THIS JUST IN! Alternate Entry: "Why I Cannot Converse With Gangstas"
Me: Your actually READ? Now that is something. XP
Dude: awwhh u coming at my neck forreaal. lol siike wats up how is your summer going?
Me: Ehh...like everyone else's I suppose...boring as hell and too hot to do anything. I had a freakin' job interview today, then had to go working with my dad...it is WAY too hot to be working outside!
Dude: i kno u dont have to tell me, i have football in the heat everyday. i had to work today to. soo im tirreddd ...
Me: Ohhhh! Believe me honey...Field Hockey OFFICIALLY starts in August...but if I don't start running now, I WILL collapse on our first mile. But I can't wait. XP What kind of classes are you taking this year? (Sorry to mention school already, lol)
Dude: iono wat im takin lol. im not forrreaal sure. some easy jawns. juss to get done. im tryna go to school for footbal n shyt. lolol wat about u?
Me: Hard stuff. Seeing how I'm tryna go to school for academics n shyt. lolol.
*End Conversation*
By the way...what the hell is a 'jawn'?!?!?!
*BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!*
"ALEXA! WAKE UP!!!!"
I did. And I quickly jumped into my interview clothes, applied a wee bit of makeup, and looked at the floor. Sitting there were these gold flip flops. Old Navy of course, but just tan enough to go perfectly with my outfit--tan blouse-ish type shirt with white cami underneath, frilly patterned skirt--it matched so perfectly, I slipped them on and didn't look back.
Yeah, turns out that was my tragic flaw. My Hamartia. ("The "tragic hero" attempts to do the "right thing" in a situation where the right thing cannot be done.")
Tragic Hero: Moi.
Right thing: Wearing sensible librarianistic (AKA Republican) shoes.
Why I couldn't do it: I DIDN'T HAVE ANY OTHER SHOES THAT MATCHED SO PERFECTLY! Mom and Dad told me to 86 the flip flops. I didn't listen, because I AM A SPED.
So I'm sitting in my interview, and Mrs. I Totally Drew On My Eyebrows This Morning (AKA Mrs. ITDOMETM) slides a dress code across the table to me and explains that it's not ambiguous or anything, easy to understand. Flip flops are a DEFINITELY NOT. I chuckle to myself. Mrs. ITDOMETM says, "You're laughing. What's so funny?"
"Oh nothing. Just...flip flops. I was told not to wear them today. But they're the only shoes I had that matched perfectly with my outfit."
"Well, don't worry. We don't judge the outcome of an interview by the interviewee's footwear. And besides, you didn't know."
I like Mrs. ITDOMETM. But I still got bitched at by my Mom and Dad--MAJOR looks of "I told you so."
Well, she's not the only one who wanted to ask me questions. In walks Miss I'm Smart, But Spaced (AKA Miss ISBS) with a cart of books.
"You have 30 seconds to put these in correct order using the Dewey Decimal System. GO!"
Okay, so I wasn't timed. But I had to do said task. I got the fiction ones all right, but I missed ONE in the non-fiction section. 158 Man ALWAYS comes before 158.1 Gam!!! I'm an idiot. They also think I'm an OCD Overachiever That Shudders At The Thought of Breaking Routine.
Well, that was the FIRST half of my day. The second half of my day, I helped my Dad fix his brake line thinger and then change his tires.
HELLO KARMA!! I almost met my tragic demise.
We fixed the brake line, all happy and successful. My Dad was feeling ambitious and decided he wanted to change from his winter tires to his summer tires (about time, huh? It's only JULY!) And pulled out Mr. Jack (Similar to this sucker).
Well, turns out you can't trust Jack.
My Dad put bricks in front of the front tires, and then propped up the back axle using Mr. Jack. We changed the back right tire with ease, and then were just about finished with the second one (using the 'burp burp' gun to put on the last lugnut) when Mr. Jack decided that he didn't want to hold up my Dad's truck anymore. He fell sideways and the truck took a little itsy-bitsy fall. Inches from my head. I dropped the 'burp burp gun' and rolled away from the tire before it fell (with the entire weight of the truck) on my head.
My goodness. Whatta day!
Side note: The 'burp burp gun' is the thing that the pit crew people use in NASCAR when they are trying to get the lugnuts off of a tire. We call it the 'burp burp gun' in my house because of the noise it makes. "Burrrrrrp burrrp!!"
THIS JUST IN! Alternate Entry: "Why I Cannot Converse With Gangstas"
Me: Your actually READ? Now that is something. XP
Dude: awwhh u coming at my neck forreaal. lol siike wats up how is your summer going?
Me: Ehh...like everyone else's I suppose...boring as hell and too hot to do anything. I had a freakin' job interview today, then had to go working with my dad...it is WAY too hot to be working outside!
Dude: i kno u dont have to tell me, i have football in the heat everyday. i had to work today to. soo im tirreddd ...
Me: Ohhhh! Believe me honey...Field Hockey OFFICIALLY starts in August...but if I don't start running now, I WILL collapse on our first mile. But I can't wait. XP What kind of classes are you taking this year? (Sorry to mention school already, lol)
Dude: iono wat im takin lol. im not forrreaal sure. some easy jawns. juss to get done. im tryna go to school for footbal n shyt. lolol wat about u?
Me: Hard stuff. Seeing how I'm tryna go to school for academics n shyt. lolol.
*End Conversation*
By the way...what the hell is a 'jawn'?!?!?!
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