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A Lesson That Needed Re-Learned

Okay. So The Queen learned a very valuable lesson yesterday.

You DON'T TALK TO STRANGERS.

Obviously, everyone learns this lesson from the age of 5, when your father asks you, "What do you do if some strange man asks you to help him find his lost puppy?"

And then, you so enthusiastically respond, "You kick him in his privates and say NOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Well, at least that's how I learned.

And so when a young woman (couldn't be any older than my older sister) came to my door yesterday and asked questions about when my mother would be home, questions about the other kids in the neighborhood...I did the completely WRONG thing to do. I answered her questions and thought nothing of it. I didn't think her out-of-state license plates were all that threatening. I didn't think that her black (with polka dots) galoshes (similar to these) were all that threatening. I figured she was just another one of those annoying Youth For Christ advocates asking if I wanted to join their Sunday service. I was wrong (as usual), but I could've been a LOT more wrong than I was.

I got completely screamed at by my father, which I now understand. It was probably the STUPIDEST thing I have ever done, and I beat myself up for it.

Sure enough, she came back today. (Which is when I told her my mother would be home. Yeah, I'm slapping myself. WHAT AN IDIOT I WAS!!!)

My family was ready this time...sort of.

My sister's boyfriend went out to talk to her, and found out she was selling student handbooks or something or that nature. He said that he scared her a bit, but my dad was in the shower and therefore we failed to record her S.A.L.U.T.E. (Size, A-something, L-something, Unit, Time, E-something) and got yelled at again after she left. In my defense--I didn't even go to the door that time, I only assisted Chris by saying, "Yeah that's her."

So my dad kind of flipped out again, and left for work. Five minutes later he comes back--with her license plate numbers, name, address, information from her solicitation permit...we were like Whoa.

He told us we were lucky that she was only trying to sell stuff.

I admit, it was probably the stupidest thing I have ever done, and the consequences could have been so much worse. I'll think twice before I even open the door to strangers ever again. I guess my only excuse is that I thought we were safe out here. My neighborhood is safe. You never know, though.
Wise words were once said by Mad-Eye Moody in The Goblet of Fire. (Which is kinda funny, considering it's a book, but--)

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

Comments

Emma said…
How very creepy!
Crotch-kicking, hah. Hysterical!
Emma said…
And then, you so enthusiastically respond, "You kick him in his privates and say NOOOOOOOOOO!!"

That's what I meant by crotch-kicking, just laughing at your funniness (in a good way, not in a laughing-at-you way).
But I think we should make Crotch-kicking the new slang, like, "I bought some crotch-kicking new shoes, man!"
Alex said…
ehhh people who try to sell you crap from your doorstep tend to piss me off.. a lot. i even have a story!
so some guy was coming up to our house to sell us something and the first thing he said (he hadnt even gotten up to the door yet) was "don't shoot! im black!". o.m.g. my mom about came unglued (no she didnt shoot him.. dangit).
yeah im not a big fan of people who try to sell you crap on your doorstep.
but ANYWAYS!! no biggie about random lady with random galoches (galoshes?).

haha "You kick him in his privates and say NOOOOOOOOOO!!"

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