Reintroductions

I thought it might be a good idea for anyone who reads this to get reacquainted with me and my writing, since I haven't regularly blogged here in a decade. (I have been on Twitter for the better part of that decade, and you can find my tweets here.) I've put it in timeline format and parsed it out into smaller bits for easier digestion, and for my own reference sometime in the future.

2009

My last posts show that I graduated high school (barely) and started my first year of college. I feel like the rest of the year was uneventful, since that's when I had the best grades. I was working at Target, and later Starbucks, and living at home with my parents. Had a few college friends that I would party with, so I wasn't completely antisocial. 

2010

All of 2010 I was working at Starbucks and commuting 15 minutes away to my local community college. I met my first long-term boyfriend; lost my virginity; became an aunt. Late 2010 I was making plans to transfer to a college closer to that boyfriend (about 200 miles away, already sounds like a great idea RIGHT?). At the time, I did not have a lot of friends. One of my freshman college friends had moved back home to Pittsburgh, so that was kind-of another reason, or at least I tried to tell myself.

2011

I moved to the Pittsburgh suburbs and continued going to college. I made a lot of friends that I still try to keep in touch with and have some fond memories of. I had the college experience: partying, living on campus, etc. My grades started to tank again (surprise!) and I briefly considered changing majors. My journalism professor told me I was a natural journalist, and told me it was a bad idea. I didn't listen. In the fall I returned to school and broke up with my first boyfriend because he decided he wanted to quit college and play video games for a living.

2012

I reconnected with a girl that also volunteered for the same high school government program I did (You can see more about it in my old posts), and she became the closest friend I've ever had. I would later serve as one of her bridesmaids, and now she is going to be one of mine (spoiler!). Her sister died in a terrible car accident and it kind-of brought us closer that summer. I turned 21 during finals week. I decided I wasn't returning to western Pennsylvania in the fall, and would finish my studies at home ... which is when I started talking to serious boyfriend #2.

2013

Things started to get serious with my new boyfriend, and I went on vacation with him and his family. (They were not nice people.) I served as a bridesmaid at my older sister's wedding. My younger sister got pregnant at 18. I graduated from college in December (one semester late) with a Bachelor of Humanities in Communications, which was a nice way of saying all kinds of new media without specializing in anything specifically.

2014

I gained two wonderful, sweet nephews in 2014. I was working at Target, trying to move my way up to management. Instead they "benched" me — aka they promoted other people over me, and pretended I would get the next promotion — that I would never actually get. Ex-boyfriend got a DUI and began to strain our relationship with his excessive drinking. (He was 2 years my junior, and underage.)

2015

I got a customer service job that I hated, and only stayed at for 10 months. Still worked part-time at Target until September, working 2 jobs. In November I started working for the only local daily newspaper, which was second shift: 3 to 11:00 p.m. I spent most of my time commuting or working, my social life tanked — but I loved that job. I worked with great people who were hilarious and kind and knew the struggle of working for media, especially nowadays. My younger sister got married. Things were serious with the boyfriend to the point that I suggested we move in together. We found a townhouse (#24) and moved in December with a friend of his from college.

2016

Got pummeled with depression after a horrendous breakup with boyfriend #2. Went back to church and started RCIA. My cousin died of a drug overdose. Started seeing a therapist. This was the first year that the week prior to my birthday became cursed. I was viciously angry and miserable for the greater part of the year. (Then DT was elected and obviously everything just got worse.) My first car sort-of died and I bought my first brand new car. Despite that little milestone, I could write a book on how much that year sucked. Fortunately I was able to identify (and attempt to self-medicate, which, not so good) my depression this time, unlike in high school. I was still working second shift, so I spent my few days off either hanging out with family or going on Tinder and Bumble dates. (Which was ... forgettable.) Arguably one of the worst years of my life.

However.

I did meet my fiancé, and almost blew it — but he was warm, mature, and understanding. We started dating.

2017

Early in the year I moved next door from the unit I originally got with my ex (I moved into #26, I kicked him out of #24 after we split up so no, I don't still live next-door to my ex) with a girl who needed a roommate. It worked out fine for the most part. In February I met my boyfriend-turned-fiancé's mother and a brother. In April I was confirmed in the Catholic Church, with my sponsor being a girl I "got in the divorce" with my ex. This woman and I were really close for the better part of 1½ years, until we had a falling out in ... the fall, lol. It definitely felt like another low point.

The week before my birthday I had a positive pregnancy test at the doctor's office. I thought I was pregnant for a solid nine hours, but I was not. The cursed week entered year 2!

I abruptly left the newspaper in May for a marketing job ... at the company where my ex works. (Fortunately I rarely see him and we do not work in the same building.) But I'm back to day shifts, the average 9-5, and this has made my life much easier. Also in May, my fiancé's lease went up (he lived with his brother). He stayed put for the summer and then moved in with me in August as my roommate moved out. I got on my first plane in 11 years as we went to California to meet 3 of my fiancé's siblings (he's one of nine).

I started wearing glasses and contacts.

I got yet another nephew! (This makes 3!)

We got a puppy.

2018

The week before my birthday, we found out something incredibly unsavory about one of my family members and it has changed the trajectory of our relationship ever since. The fallout is still kind of in-motion, with no compromise in sight. (Cursed week, year 3.)

My best friend had a son. I met the rest of my fiancé's family. I became a vegetarian in July. My second niece was born and I will become her godmother in 2019! We later found out my OTHER sister is pregnant with her third child — a girl! Five babies in five years for a total of six nieces and nephews!

My boyfriend-turned-fiancé proposed awesomely in September. I began planning my 2020 wedding!

To 2019

This year has, so far, brought with it the perspective that I am in the beginning of my adult life. I'm in my late twenties (eep!), preparing to marry my fiancé in 2020, and we both are certain that we want children soon after.
(My first car, a 1999 Volvo S70 that I cherished and then was inherited by my younger sister, has just died.)

I'm more aware of the fluctuations in my mental health, and am able to give myself time to reflect and space when I need it. (I started antidepressant meds sometime in 2017, and they have made a difference.)

I'm really optimistic ... for the first time ever! Sometimes I look back at the posts here and get really upset at how much I struggled, how bleak it seemed. I want to grab 2016 Alexa and give her hope — tell her to hang in there. At the time I was doing just enough to get by, and it sometimes feels like an actual scar in the fabric of my life. It has much less to do with the ex and more to do with my mental health and how I saw myself, especially as time goes on.

Still drinking too much coffee though, and trying to read more books. I haven't been as sick as I used to get though! (Fingers crossed.)