I wish there was a sound for a sigh. Anything besides "*sigh*." But then again, how can you put into words the sound of someone exhaling forcefully? That would be pretty difficult.
But yeah, I'm frustrated. My guy problems have calmed down a lot, so everything's good on that front. Except...well...Carlos came over to my house today. He brought his cousin along and we just kind of hung out, ate some food, jumped on the trampoline.
It's what happened on the way home that sort of...frustrated me.
We were in the car while my dad was pumping gas, and he tried to kiss me. Of course, that's all nice and dandy. I'm not against kissing. Kissing is great and fun and lovely, but...HIS COUSIN was...right there. Is it wrong that I feel so awkward about this? I don't know, but It was short-lived because...let's just say I felt really, really uncomfortable.
Oh, and I'm not done.
When we arrived at his house, he approached the front door, and his cousin caught the hint that she should leave...I said my "nice to meet you"s and "see ya"s, and she exited stage right. But after she left, Carlos was like, "Kiss me, right now, come on..." He was so...antsy, or anxious to kiss me that I was taken a bit by surprise (Anyone would be) when he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into this...messy, tongue-y fiasco of good night kisses. At first I thought, "Well, I barely kissed him last time we were together so...*Thoughts break off mid-sentence*...oh my. This isn't fun at all." I was kind of shocked when he let go of me, so I muttered out something like, "Inexperienced..." or something. I don't know.
The worst part was that my Dad could tell something was up in the car ride home. And I think that he's really angry that this wasn't something he could have prepared me for. I just feel really frustrated that I don't seem to be in charge of where this is going. My Dad said on the ride home, that he thought Carlos was a good kid before, but now...he thinks he's really self-centered.
We were sitting at the dining room table eating birthday cake (Arianna's birthday) and his cousin and him jumped at the idea of taking pictures. So I had to smile for 5 or so pictures with him, meanwhile she was telling us we need to be closer and yadda yadda...I deleted all of them, except one. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with it yet--but I can GUARANTEE you, it will NEVER be on my facebook or myspace. I can't stand girls who do that. Carlos was trying to talk me into it, but sorry, no cigar. *Stutter* I--I just...I don't know.
Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm scared. Yo no sé. I just don't know, but something in the pit of my stomach just...doesn't feel right. Maybe it's the old apprehension I used to feel whenever I knew things weren't working out--but it seems to be a little late this time. I can't cut this off as easily as I did my other relationships. They were short-lived. Those guys never met my parents, never came to my house, never held my hand...
I'm so confused, honestly.
But yeah, I'm frustrated. My guy problems have calmed down a lot, so everything's good on that front. Except...well...Carlos came over to my house today. He brought his cousin along and we just kind of hung out, ate some food, jumped on the trampoline.
It's what happened on the way home that sort of...frustrated me.
We were in the car while my dad was pumping gas, and he tried to kiss me. Of course, that's all nice and dandy. I'm not against kissing. Kissing is great and fun and lovely, but...HIS COUSIN was...right there. Is it wrong that I feel so awkward about this? I don't know, but It was short-lived because...let's just say I felt really, really uncomfortable.
Oh, and I'm not done.
When we arrived at his house, he approached the front door, and his cousin caught the hint that she should leave...I said my "nice to meet you"s and "see ya"s, and she exited stage right. But after she left, Carlos was like, "Kiss me, right now, come on..." He was so...antsy, or anxious to kiss me that I was taken a bit by surprise (Anyone would be) when he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into this...messy, tongue-y fiasco of good night kisses. At first I thought, "Well, I barely kissed him last time we were together so...*Thoughts break off mid-sentence*...oh my. This isn't fun at all." I was kind of shocked when he let go of me, so I muttered out something like, "Inexperienced..." or something. I don't know.
The worst part was that my Dad could tell something was up in the car ride home. And I think that he's really angry that this wasn't something he could have prepared me for. I just feel really frustrated that I don't seem to be in charge of where this is going. My Dad said on the ride home, that he thought Carlos was a good kid before, but now...he thinks he's really self-centered.
We were sitting at the dining room table eating birthday cake (Arianna's birthday) and his cousin and him jumped at the idea of taking pictures. So I had to smile for 5 or so pictures with him, meanwhile she was telling us we need to be closer and yadda yadda...I deleted all of them, except one. I haven't decided what I'm going to do with it yet--but I can GUARANTEE you, it will NEVER be on my facebook or myspace. I can't stand girls who do that. Carlos was trying to talk me into it, but sorry, no cigar. *Stutter* I--I just...I don't know.
Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm scared. Yo no sé. I just don't know, but something in the pit of my stomach just...doesn't feel right. Maybe it's the old apprehension I used to feel whenever I knew things weren't working out--but it seems to be a little late this time. I can't cut this off as easily as I did my other relationships. They were short-lived. Those guys never met my parents, never came to my house, never held my hand...
I'm so confused, honestly.
Comments
Good luck!
ps-did u change your blog around?
oh and sorry for the serious lack of commentage. ive been discovering the joyous ways of myspace. :D