Ugh guys...I'm so confused. Really...truly...utterly.
Okay, so of course you all remember Carlos. How could you not?
Well, of course you also know how he ditched me on my birthday. My family is starting to nudge me, telling me that he's not being the best semi/kinda/not really boyfriend that he can be. And I dunno, I guess I agree. Every time his name is brought into conversation, so is "Where is he?" My family's never met him, he doesn't go to my school. It seems as if the negatives just keep piling up. I mean yes, I do like him. But jeez, at least he has something to distract himself--he does so much crap I dunno how he ever gets a minute to think about me. So for the past week, I've been figuratively "walking the line" between us talking and not talking. I mean, I've lost the point, honestly. I hate being tied down to him when I don't even see him. Yeah, it's not his fault he's grounded...but technically it is. I dunno.
Okay, so there's him. But it seems as if other people are...edging into my life.
There's this kid that came over to my house tonight and had dinner with us. He's a friend of my sister (my sister has a boyfriend, so not in that way) and he stayed for like 4 hours outside around the fire pit. He's cute. Really cute. I finally worked up the courage to lay my head on his shoulder since it seemed as if Devyn and her boyfriend were cuddling so comfortably. As far as I know, he didn't seem to annoyed with it. But yes, it was awkward at times...he's just getting out of a relationship and I'm still sort of in one. Sort of. But I don't know, I really like him and he seems to be paying more attention to me than Carlos is, obviously.
Then, there's the horny text-message kid. This kid has become my best friend over the last couple weeks, honestly--we text message all the time and I'm pretty sure he has a crush on me as well...either that or he's just really desperate. He's really cute as well, although...more in the sense of the word cute. He's younger than me so he's not exactly experienced, ya know? But then again...I shouldn't be talking.
I can't forget the crush I had before model--he was a nice kid. Very odd, and younger than me as well. I think he still may be in immature-freshman mode, however. Sometimes he seems like he likes me...and sometimes...he's just really distracted.
So, seriously...I don't know what's going on. It's like, all of a sudden I start to relax, and a lot of guys are taking notice. I dunno what to do. I mean, I'm supposedly in pre-relationship mode with Carlos. I can imagine if I randomly saw him tomorrow, I'd be all wrapped up in that drama again. But it's almost as if...I'm going shopping. Shopping for...shoes. Yes, shoes. On one side, I have my Carloses. They're comfy, sensible and safe, but not at all stylish. Sort of like granny shoes. On another side I have my flip-flops (sister's friend). They could be more comfortable, but they're stylish--the only downside is that they're so open, I could seriously mess up my feet. And last but not least are the most adorable shoes of the bunch (my younger guys). They don't fit for shit, but I'm trying as hard as I can to shove my 8 into a 7.5 or 7. Yeah. I'm an idiot.
I dunno what to do. And if I keep going on like this and messing with everyone...someone's gonna get hurt.
For now all I can do is bury my head in my hands and...I dunno.
Okay, so of course you all remember Carlos. How could you not?
Well, of course you also know how he ditched me on my birthday. My family is starting to nudge me, telling me that he's not being the best semi/kinda/not really boyfriend that he can be. And I dunno, I guess I agree. Every time his name is brought into conversation, so is "Where is he?" My family's never met him, he doesn't go to my school. It seems as if the negatives just keep piling up. I mean yes, I do like him. But jeez, at least he has something to distract himself--he does so much crap I dunno how he ever gets a minute to think about me. So for the past week, I've been figuratively "walking the line" between us talking and not talking. I mean, I've lost the point, honestly. I hate being tied down to him when I don't even see him. Yeah, it's not his fault he's grounded...but technically it is. I dunno.
Okay, so there's him. But it seems as if other people are...edging into my life.
There's this kid that came over to my house tonight and had dinner with us. He's a friend of my sister (my sister has a boyfriend, so not in that way) and he stayed for like 4 hours outside around the fire pit. He's cute. Really cute. I finally worked up the courage to lay my head on his shoulder since it seemed as if Devyn and her boyfriend were cuddling so comfortably. As far as I know, he didn't seem to annoyed with it. But yes, it was awkward at times...he's just getting out of a relationship and I'm still sort of in one. Sort of. But I don't know, I really like him and he seems to be paying more attention to me than Carlos is, obviously.
Then, there's the horny text-message kid. This kid has become my best friend over the last couple weeks, honestly--we text message all the time and I'm pretty sure he has a crush on me as well...either that or he's just really desperate. He's really cute as well, although...more in the sense of the word cute. He's younger than me so he's not exactly experienced, ya know? But then again...I shouldn't be talking.
I can't forget the crush I had before model--he was a nice kid. Very odd, and younger than me as well. I think he still may be in immature-freshman mode, however. Sometimes he seems like he likes me...and sometimes...he's just really distracted.
So, seriously...I don't know what's going on. It's like, all of a sudden I start to relax, and a lot of guys are taking notice. I dunno what to do. I mean, I'm supposedly in pre-relationship mode with Carlos. I can imagine if I randomly saw him tomorrow, I'd be all wrapped up in that drama again. But it's almost as if...I'm going shopping. Shopping for...shoes. Yes, shoes. On one side, I have my Carloses. They're comfy, sensible and safe, but not at all stylish. Sort of like granny shoes. On another side I have my flip-flops (sister's friend). They could be more comfortable, but they're stylish--the only downside is that they're so open, I could seriously mess up my feet. And last but not least are the most adorable shoes of the bunch (my younger guys). They don't fit for shit, but I'm trying as hard as I can to shove my 8 into a 7.5 or 7. Yeah. I'm an idiot.
I dunno what to do. And if I keep going on like this and messing with everyone...someone's gonna get hurt.
For now all I can do is bury my head in my hands and...I dunno.
Comments
I think text message guy sounds good. It sounds like he really likes you!!
But flip-flop guy sounds cute too.
Ugh, you have some tough decisions to make, girl! Good luck.
carlos carlos carlos.
why would you give out on a hottie like my girl alexa?
shes about over you, ya know.
in fact, shes already interested in other guys.
so either get a move on, or make it a little easier for my girl to figure things out, homie."
hee hee hee. sorry i couldnt resist that. hee....
ok so carlos = bye bye, cause... hes acting like a retard.
mr. head-on-shoulder seems like a very, very good possibility for new bf. and since yall are both just getting out of relationships, i think it would work (of course, wht do i know about that.... ugh).
:D